New Beginnings: Setting Your Family Up For Success

With a new child in the family, something is always beginning. 

Those beginnings commence the day we get a positive result from a pregnancy test. We start obstetric care and – before we know it – we’re starting childcare. Our babies begin sleeping through the night and taking their first steps. We begin potty training and take our children to the first day of preschool. We drive them to their first piano lesson, baseball practice, and dance class. 

Beginnings abound. A new start is an exciting time. We see before us a thousand possibilities and dare to hope for success. This Little League practice may mean the birth of a Major League MVP. 

But a new start is also fraught with anxiety. Will our childcare arrangement work for our child? Will potty training go well or will our child be one of those difficult cases we’ve heard about? 

And the questions continue over time. How will weekly piano lessons impact our family’s schedule? Will our child practice willingly each day, or will this become a source of conflict between us? How much will these lessons cost, and can we really afford them? 

Every new step represents an opportunity for success or failure. And yet to avoid new efforts because of the risk involved would result in a life of no growth and little joy. We might experience success or satisfaction we have never known before, but only if we take the first step. 

Long ago, Plato observed that “The beginning is the most important part of the work.” Yet, because none of us has twenty-twenty foresight, missteps often occur as we start out. How can we make a beginning most likely to launch our success as new parents? Allow me to make some humble suggestions, gained from the wisdom of others. 

First, we should listen to our own experience. Any beginning we make should be consistent with our most secure beliefs. If we begin based on someone else’s idea, we may not be motivated to maintain the effort. If Grandma thinks we should potty train Courtney, but we doubt her readiness in our own hearts, we are unlikely to meet with success. 

Second, we should listen to our own resources. If we really want our child to learn to play the piano but can afford neither the piano nor the lessons, we should plan to begin something else. Is there a guitar in a cousin’s closet you could borrow? A neighbor who would swap guitar lessons for a meal once a week? We can use what we have, and begin there. In time, those skills learned on the guitar may translate to the piano, or a love of guitar may blossom. 

Every beginning represents the possibility of many choices we make both for ourselves and for our children. It is my hope that you and your family will start down a path that will make your own dreams a reality.  

By Claudia Quigg, M.Ed. 

Child Developmentalist, Author, Baby TALK Founder